Chapter 12: the best advice of all

I save the best for last. Think of this as the wedding cake chapter. My advice here is not about choosing a cake. By now, you know I'm going to say that's the bride's job and unless she specifically asks you to choose the cake, you are going to pretend or maybe you going to convince yourself somehow that a three tier different shaped cake with a gold mid section beats a tone -on- tone monogrammed number any day of the week.
This is about you getting a piece of cake (even a sliver if you can't make yourself eat a big ole' hunk) and you are going to look around at the face of your child and her beloved and all the people who are their to witness their union and you are are going to know that all the work and worry have been worth it.
Yep. It's like that moment when they put a new baby in your arms, flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone and at that moment, you don't think of morning sickness or stretch marks or counting contractions. At they moment you savor... You drink it all in. This is your moment, just as much as it is the bride's. Revel in it.
Kick off your shoes and dance (even if someone is recording it) or hug someone (maybe  someone you wanted to choke just early) even if you are not a hugger or an otherwise touchy person.
What I am saying here is that at the event itself, do everything you can to celebrate. Actually enjoy the thing. There are things you can do to free you up to be able to do this.
One example from my own experience: we paid a caregiver to come and stay with our eldest daughter, who is handicapped, so that she would be well taken care of but by someone other than the Hub and me or members of our family, freeing everyone, including her, to enjoy the festivities.
One last story as I close. A friend told me that she was crushing blocks of frozen punch when they came to take her down the aisle at her daughter's wedding. There was no time to check her lipstick or do anything else without holding up the wedding and its party.
My point it, this delightful woman has enough family and friends and has helped out enough people just within my knowledge of her, that someone else could have been crushing that frozen punch. Whether she did not ask them or did not let them is of no import. This poor soul was so exhausted she could not enjoy the wedding.
Don't  let that be you; not when its time to celebrate!
The End