Chapter 8: when to step up

Having just talked about stepping back or stand down, I must follow that advice by saying there is also a time to step up. There are just some things that are important enough to stand one's ground regarding. Case in point: (in our case) ushers.
The further we got into the actual execution of wedding plans, the more the bride used the words "simple" and "elegant" more often.
That meant, not nearly as much greenery or adornaments as I had hoped for. (much of which had already been procured,) Say it with me: it was not my wedding!
So, I stepped back and back and back and was proud of myself. I ran into a lady whose daughter went to undergraduate school with the bride.  She said (and her daughter agreed) that, as the mother of the bride, she claimed all the say in all three of her daughters' wedding. I'll admit to being a little envious, still I held my backward stance.
The bride and groom drew their attendant line at four each. Another four (albeit smaller and possibly easier to deal with) folk
would carry rings and deposit rose petals along the aisle.  No ushers. No more people to buy gifts for or invite to the rehearsal dinner or plan around. Read: deal with. Seemed rational to me at the time. The bride (a new attorney) can make excellent argument.
I'm going to cut to the chase here and say: sometimes you are going to need to step up.
Insist. Counter-argue and basically stand your ground.
This is especially true of things that are dangerous. (In our particular case nothing comes immediately to mind but danger is what would get my children spanked when nothing else would, so I throw it in the mix here.)
What does immediately come to mind is the matter of ushers.
We needed them.
Members of the family stood up while seats reserved for them (unbeknownst to them) sat empty. There was confusion and congestion that any or all of the cousins of the bride and/or groom could have remedied. It would well have been worth adding a table or two at the rehearsal and a gift or four to commemorate their service. I would have and should have offered to cover the cost as it would have been well worth it.
But I was so stuck on the "not my wedding" mantra that I forgot to exercise my maternal privilege. I wish I had.